@Ebook ¼ The Rules of Inheritance Ë eBook or E-pub free

pg 10I am silent, marveling at the power we have to unlock a person.I marvel at this story, of such loss and pain, leaving me buoyed with hope and kindness.Claire tells her story of losing both parents before she was 25 in an unflinching voice She draws me to her unstable and pained young girl self making every bad decision one can, while surviving unspeakable loss One chapter in, I was frantically trying to do anything but keep reading, but I could not stop I just wanted to comfort Claire To tell her it would be ok To somehow stop the train wreck that was happening Memoirist often struggle and fail at telling a their story, not as a 30 year old remembering her 17 year old self, but being a 17 year old making the best decisions possible, even though in retrospect they were the worst To unapologetically remain true to who you were at younger ages and all the foibles and mistakes of that age is the mark of a powerful writer Claire is a powerful writer.I wept often, and laughed in understandingchokengtitiktitikchokeng94 Grief is like another country, I realize It is a placechokengtitiktitikchokeng106 Grief is like a jealous friend, reminding me that no one else will ever love me as much as it doeschokengtitiktitikchokeng119 her death leaves me both depleted and emboldened.That s what tragedy does to youthe sadness and the wild freedom.of it all impart a strange durabilitychokengtitiktitikchokeng130 I want to do things to him that I won t know how to do until I am doing themchokengtitiktitikchokeng232 I lean my forehead against the cool glass and I know something about life about how even in the moments when you don t think you are moving forward, you really are. A really good memoir of Bidwell Smiths process of loosing and grieving her parents Of how we are sometimes not able to process what is happening to us, of struggling, and of how we can heal, once the time comes when we are able to face the realities of our life.It is such a relief, when she can be present for her fathers death, after that was not the case with her mothers death It was beautiful for me to share her memories of a parents dying body Feeling the body, seeing it, feeling this intense presence with the person, being so much there I m maybe talking about myself It is clear that she took her time in writing the book and that she has experience in working with grief professionally There is nothing hurried or anxious, and no resentment or judgement towards her overwhelmed younger self The chapters hop back and forth in time and are gathered into five parts under the headings of the five stages of grief Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance.It worked very well for me to have the quotes by Elisabeth K bler Ross in the beginning of each part For denial it said There is a grace in denial It is nature s way of letting in only as much as we can handle That gave my reading experience some structure and this nice option of a focused themed perspective In addition the quotes really opened up spaces for investigating my own experiences in relation to the book.This might not be an interesting book literarily but it is sincere, thoughtful sharing of experience And it is valuable to me. @Ebook ¾ The Rules of Inheritance Û Claire Bidwell Smith, A Fourteen Year Old Only Child, Learns That Both Her Parents Have Cancer The Fear Of Becoming A Family Of One Compels Her To Make A Series Of Fraught Choices, Set Against The Glittering Backdrop Of New York And Los Angeles And The Pall Of RegretWhen The Inevitable Happens And Claire Is Alone In The World, She Is Inconsolable At The Revelation That Suddenly She Is No One S Special Person It Is Only Later, When Claire Falls In Love, Marries And Becomes A Mother, That She Emerges From The Fog Of GriefUsing The Five Stages Of Grief As A Window Onto Her Personal Experience, Claire Bidwell Smith Has Written A Powerful Memoir That Is At Once Exquisite And Profound Claire Bidwell Smith an only child was just fourteen years old when both of her parents were diagnosed with cancer within months of each other I ve already come to the conclusion that I will probably be parentless by the time I am thirty, Claire writes in her powerful debut.As her mother begins to succumb during Claire s first year of college, Claire hurtles towards loss She throws herself into the arms of anything she thinks might hold her up boys, alcohol, traveling, and the anonymity of cities like New York and Los Angeles Her every choice carries the weight of a young woman s world, and it feels like a solitary place Words books, diaries, letters, family stories become Claire s true companions, and provide a glimpse of the future, however foreign.In New York, she studies writing and learns the ways of the world, falling in and out of love with a troubled young man, all the while grappling not only with her own lonelieness and regret but that of her aging father She joins him in Los Angeles as a novice journalist, and records one last thrilling entry in their nuclear family history in the fields of Eastern Europe in search of his World War II past When it is time to say good bye, once the fragility of life astonishes.Defying a conventional framework, this memoir is told in nonlinear fashion, using the five stages of grief as a window into Claire s experience, at once heartbreaking and uplifting Why would anyone want to walk into pain Claire asks But when I did, I found that it didn t hurt as much as I thought it would Each step brings her closer to finding the meaning of the rules of inheritance, and how they will shape her future as a woman, as a wife, as a mother As in the very best personal writing, Claire s superbly resonant words render the personal universal.As I neared the end of this book last night I found myself sobbing as I read her account of spending the last few minutes when her dad as cancer overcame his body It took me back to that horrible day I experienced as my dad took his last breaths surrendering to cancer She writes with such truth It is hard to read as she struggles to find her way and deal with the death of her parents, but she doesn t sugar coat it, but makes it very real Some might consider this book a bit depressing but good memoirs are fast becoming my favorite genre as I like things to be real. What a beautifully told memoir of Claire s love for her parents and the untethered feelings she had following the death of her mother Her honesty in sharing her behavior and reaction to loss and grief was both raw and touching, as she also began to realize that her closeness to her father would not have occurred without the death of her mother Her superb writing draws you in to her story and leads you to think about the fragility of life and how the touch and presence of another human can make a difference I think her words and story will stay with me Well crafted and powerful My rating says I liked this book, but I didn t like it very much Perhaps I have read too many memoirs and have just tired of whining women Lots of whining in this book about her boyfriend, her work, the fact that both of her parents became ill and died which happened many years before she wrote this book , and everything else in between However, the thing that annoyed me the most about this book is the fact that it has one sentence paragraphs than I have ever seen in a book Page after page of one sentence paragraphs throughout the entire book which I found not only annoying, but also odd, as if she couldn t string together several sentences to make a complete paragraph Read this book if you want to, but there are far better memoirs out there. The last two chapters saved the book for me While I appreciated her laying bare the complexity and powerful nature of grief, I found her writing style formulaic and simplistic She often repeats herself and retells the same incident in different chapters, making me wonder if it didn t start as a series of essays rather than a fully formed book Having read many memoirs, Joan Didion s Blue Nights most recently, this one seems amateurish and infantile in comparison. As the two star rating indicates, it was ok Subject matter is heavy and my heart went out to her but eventually it felt overdone. I wanted to put the book down after the first chapter Not that it was badly written or hard to read I wanted to put it down because the pain is palpable even early on in the book It s like a huge wave is coming and you can t see it but you can feel it rumbling and hear it roaring It s coming and there s no avoiding it.Read my complete review on Found Not Lost This review is based on a digital galley provided by the publisher via NetGalley The only time I regret spending on this book is the time I spent avoiding it I added it to my NetGalley requests one evening when I was on one of my crazy searches for what could be the next big thing and I had to make sure that if it was out there that I could review it The Rules of Inheritance sounded promising.Claire Bidwell Smith takes us on a cyclic journey through her grieving and healing process Her parents were diagnosed with cancer within months of each other while she was still in high school Within her first year of college, her mother died, and she had no idea how to cope with the void in her life where her mother used to be The Rules of Inheritance contains so many passages that I want to share, but this passage resonated the strongest with me, I write her a letter on the one year anniversary of her dead Dear Mom, I don t know how to be without you Please come back. Since Joan Didion s memoirs about the death or her husband, The Year of Magical Thinking followed by the tragic death of her daughter, Blue Nights, it s hard not to compare any memoir with death and dying at its core to hers However, what kept me reading Smith into the night and through this afternoon was the way her honest and compassionate voice highlights the grief all of us experience not just when we lose someone, but when we change The hardest person to find when you think you ve lost everything is yourself, and going from childhood to adulthood, all of us need to face that challenge We have to learn how to sit alone with our thoughts how to stop doing the things that hurt us how to forgive We also have to come to terms with our own mortality As Nietzsche put it,W hen you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into youIt s hard to watch someone die and scary to even find out someone has passed away not just because we grieve the loss, but because it s a reminder that our own time is limited.I hope that Claire Bidwell Smith continues her work as an author and grief counselor Everyone should read this book It s one of the most beautiful books I ve ever read.